My Inbox In December
Liz Sarb
🥰 This *one toy* is going to be all the rage this holiday season!
🚨We found more TOYS for you. Don’t you want TOYS?? Especially this one?????🚨
Get it before it’s gone: this season’s hottest toy is 0.05% off for the next 5 seconds! HURRY🔥🔥🔥
Good news, our severely underpaid workers put in a 200-hour shift and we have restocked the only toy that will bring joy to all children* this holiday season! (*Except for the children in our sweatshop, they’ll be working 💚❤️)
😱 Don’t be a bad parent: all your kid’s friends will soon own The One Toy! 😱
Your children will sustain emotional trauma if you do not purchase The One Toy. In case you care about their long-term happiness and success. 🤡
✅ Simply picture The One Toy in your mind within five feet of any device to place an order. Act fast before it’s too late! ✅
👀👀 The One Toy is on every billboard along your highway and in every ad in your feed.
👯 The One Toy has assumed the face of your closest friend and your most hated enemy. 👯
The One Toy has infiltrated all your hopes, your dreams, your desires. 🌀🌀🌀
The One Toy is your benevolent master 🖤 You cannot remember a time when The One Toy did not shine down on your family with its light and love 🖤 You are eternally devoted to The One Toy 🖤
🕯️I am The One Toy. You are The One Toy. We are all One Toy. 🕯️
